Depression ruins a MarriageMay 13, 2007
My life has been turned upside down(her depression) by my wife of eight years for some reason she has felt that I have been trying to change her which if far from it, no matter what she wanted to do I supported her in what ever endeavour she wanted to try and what job she wanted to do, I fully supported her no matter what but no she has decided that she no longer wishes to married because she is not sure who she is and wants a divorce I have waited patiently for her to decide when she wanted to become intimate again in our marriage, the past 6 years I can count on one hand the times that we have had any type of an intimate relationship.
I have told her that I will always love her no matter what and will do what she wants even though I know in my heart that it is the wrong step to take, in order for me to survive and to remain sane I have taken a job in another state because being so close to the lady that I love will be quite hard for me to handle so i felt that it was necessary to live and work in a another state. I have talked with her parents they are saddened to hear of her decision and i explained to them that it was not my decision but hers alone and that if she does change her mind i would come back to her in a heart beat.
There are two sides to every story, and I would rather her family be there for her because she needs the help and love of her family at this time. I dearly love her family and have enjoyed the interaction with them when I have been able to be there, and the closeness that I felt while being married to my wife, and wish to stay in contact with them because they made me feel welcome into their family, especially her brother who lives in Chicago and his wife and two kids, along with her parents who also live in near Chicago as well. They encouraged me to call them mom and dad after both of my parents had passed away, I will love them dearly for the love they have shown me while being married to their daughter.
While being married to their daughter who has shown me how live and love again after I had built a wall to keep from being hurt again, she helped me greatly in raising my daughters long distance and making sure that we gave both daughters an option and a safe place when ever they wanted to come down and live with us.
My wife has a huge love of Hydrangeas and she had made it her flowers of choice for our wedding, I will never regret marrying her at all, I love her with all my heart and will remain faithful to her no matter what because she is my soul mate and she is my heart, when she told me she wanted a divorce it was if my heart had been ripped out of me.
This may seem to be ramblings that are not in order but for me to live each day to be so close but unable to change her mind which I will not do because I would never force her to change her mind even if it is the wrong decision, but it is the one she has made, I will respect her wishes no matter what. I would rather that her family be mad at me than at her because she needs the love and help that they can give her while she tries to discover who she is instead of trying be what everybody wants her to be. In our 8 years of marriage, I never once thought of another female because my wife was my life and my heart and most importantly my best friend.
To her friends please be there for her because she is really unable to do what is necessary to keep her life in order, I cherish the fact that her friends welcomed me into their circle as one of them without judging me at all. I will always cherish the times spent with them on holidays and other times as well.
To her friend who lives in California I saw you as her twin sister because you both thought alike which at times was quite funny at times because you both even sounded alike on the phone, I ask that you be there for her even if just on the phone to talk with her.
Like I said there are two sides for every story I will keep mine to myself because of the love that I have for my wife, I would rather be the villain so that her family and friends will be there for her as that is what she needs the most at this time in her life, so that she will find who she is. For those who wish to ask me, please be there for her, she needs the love and support right now. It hurts to much to be in the same state as she lives in right now, knowing that I am still married to her but she doesn’t wish to stay married it is tearing me up inside but I would rather have her friends and family focus on her because she desperately needs the love and support as she battles her demons that are inside her mind. Read my 2nd post titled Freedom