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The man who defied the odds

August 14, 2021

This man was born in 1932, quit school at 7th grade to help his family survive by working odd jobs then getting a chauffeurs license at age 18. This man wasn’t an imposing figure at the time, He met his wife who was a short order cook at a burger joint, for three years he drove semi up from leesville, Louisiana to the twin cities in minnesota. After Meeting her they dated for 6 weeks before deciding to get married. Their honeymoon wasn’t spectacular,(per her moms teachings, kissing will get her pregnant) he spent the night in the bed, she spent the night in the recliner in the room. Needless to say she finally learned what makes babies……LOL she went on to have 6 that survived, she miscarried quints in 1964.

In 1954 they married, had their first kid 1956, then in 1957, then in 1960, then 1962, miscarried quints in 1964, 1965, then the last one in 1970. In 1967 they had to move from Hobbs, New Mexico to Saint Louis Park, MN, his wife was needing open heart surgery & the University of Minnesota was the only place doing open heart surgery, the 6 doctors refused to release her to go back to Hobbs.

So this man went & looked for a job, he was hired by Span Crete, in Osseo MN. He started out at the bottom as a crew runner for the company, in 1969 they won a bid to help build the IDS tower, the first building in the United States where the structure was entirely made from steel beams, he was promoted to crew chief with his ability to dance the steel beams as they were being connected to the structure, even the top of the building structure, he could walk the 3 inch wide surface on each steel beam.

The company put in a bid to build a dorm facility on the university of Minnesota campus, in 1969 two months into 1970, the grout pump(equipment that send concrete mixture up to the higher floors, one day the grout pump the strap tie down equipment failed, the pump started rolling towards the industrial power lines adjacent too the construction site. A total of 10 men that day tried to stop the pump from hitting the power lines(the electric company informed the company that the man was working was safe, no electricity was in the lines. That day the first of the 10 men died from electrocution. This simple man died at the site, he came back to life, got up, grabbed the remains of his jacket he wore for construction. Walked to his car, drove home, he told his wife that his back was hurting and a nap would help him. She helps him take his jacket off, she noticed his entire spine from his neck to his tail bone was exposed, her first thought was to him to the hospital.

She grabbed every pillow in the house, laid the middle seat of the station wagon, then told him to get into the car laying face down on the pillow, she called the cops & informed them she was going to be taking this simple man to the ER & was going to break every driving law, by the time she got onto the highway, 4 state troopers were waiting and escorted her to the ER, they made it there in 11 minutes. A miracle occurred at the ER, the on call surgeon just happened to be the pre imminent doctor that specialized in the spine. The head ER nurse called him to get his ass to ER for a emergency medical case. When he arrived, the looked at this mans back, ordered him to be taken to the nearest surgery room asap. The simple man was prepped for surgery, the surgeon quickly arranged for 6 surgical teams, this simple man was in surgery for 96 hours, the surgical teams worked on 6 hour rotations, the specialist slept very little, the man died on the table 3 times.

The doctor took a detailed examination as the surgical teams were fusing his spine into one bone, the right leg lost an inch in the shin area, the soles of his feet were blown off, his jaw was fractured in 12 places. It took the surgical team 5 hours to construct a 3/4 quarter body cast that he would be in for 8 months, the surgical teams took the body cast off to inspect everything. They placed him in another body cast for another 4 months. All the while his family was split up among her relatives, his wife slept at the hospital, never left his side. After living in the hospital for 15 months, they approved a hospital bed for his house, everything was rearranged the living room became his bedroom. This simple man in 1970 had elevated his family to the upper middle class, that fateful day his family went from upper middle class to 1800% below poverty level, the only saving grace was the attorney that was representing him, paid the monthly mortgage & all the bills.

The simple man realized he needed to find a way to provide for his family, he swallowed his pride, & applied for family assistance in 1972, the first public assistance person literally told him that had he died, his family was be better off. The attorney stepped in, the intake worker was fired for her words, family assistance was approved, but he wasn’t one to sit back & do nothing. From his hospital bed at his house, he study for the GED test, after 7 weeks he scored 100% on every test, he had his GED, he then applied to a technical school, in 18 months he earned his certificate as a master machinist operator. A new company had gone to the technical school to hire machinist specialists, the company Medtronic hired this simple man to be lead technician for the company, they bought a special vehicle & they would pick him up every day for work. The ones picking him up everyday, were the owners of Medtronic, the simple man worked for 5 years for the company till he wasn’t able to stand or sit at the job. He still provided his 6 kids with private school edification, he was a Cajun southern Baptist(his parents built the church).

His wife was a northern Yankee Lutheran that converted to Catholicism, he agreed the children would be raised Catholic. In 1979 he became a certified electrician, he knew how to read electrical blue prints, he would help solve electrical issues over the phone. He lived til June 1990 3 days shy of his wedding anniversary. In 1976 he won his court case, 2 weeks before congress lifted the restrictions that monetary awards that was limited to 999,000.00 that was what he was awarded 1 week before the restrictions were lifted, had they come back after the restrictions had been lifted, he could have been awarded 35 million dollars per his attorney.

Everyday, his day began with a simple prayer,(lord I’m not done yet, I need another day) in 1988 he was diagnosed with cancer of the larynx, they removed the larynx, but he still learned how to speak, it didn’t stop him. After all the treatments, he calls the entire family to a meeting with his doctor, the doctor explained that the cancer had exploded all over his entire body, including all his organs, thats when his family learned that he wasn’t doing the treatments anymore, he surprised his family by stating, he had accomplished what he needed to, its time for him to rest, he went into hospice care the following day, he passed away a week later. None of his siblings came to see him, all because he married a yankee, they never forgave him.

You can tell that I know this simple man very well, I was his fourth child of six that survived, funny story as my mother nearly died from giving birth to my older sister, a friend suggested that his daughter be giving his wife first name as her middle name. His wife nearly killed him, she stated the next child they have will carry his full name, 2 of his sisters where holding 8 inch cast iron skillets just waiting for him to even say a word. I was that child that carries his full name. I am a year older than my father who died at age 58, 4 of his children are now older than the simple man. In 2031 all six of his children will be older than him.

I laugh at people who complain that they have suffered during this pandemic, yes its bad but nothing compared to the twenty years of 24/7 constant full body pain, but it never stopped him from acknowledging Gods power of prayer. By 1985 it was discovered that the spine was literally dissolving in 1987 from the tail bone to just below his waist the spine was gone. I could add more but I only focus on his strength to continue to live, he never became a drug addict or a alcoholic his own doctor stated he earned the right to become either one.

thank you for reading his story…..

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Family

April 8, 2021

Yesterday was a great day, used TextNow app to text my oldest daughter to make sure that she had received the package that I had shipped to her, it was an expensive package, 2 digital cameras one for her & the other one for the grand daughter. 

She was surprised & frustrated that I was using a number that she never recognized, she asked if I was her father, I said yes that I was. She informed that she was now engaged to her bf who is 54, I gave her my blessing, she asked why I just dropped off the earth, I was brutal in my reply, her response was that she was not going to allow emotional blackmail, I stated I only gave the facts & if she couldn’t handle it was for her to decide if she still wanted me to be part of her life.

I told her that I was signing off and deleting that app, I never saw her reply at all. Damn that process that you have to go thru to delete an app on an apple product is maddening, 1. Make sure that you have screen time is turned off, if not you will never be able to delete any app.

I told her that I fought to stay in her & her sisters life, contrary to everything their mom did to block me from their lives. That battle was 7 years worth, 5 of the years I had to do a court ordered diary for each week, where I also had to provide receipts every 4 hours to prove where I was at each day. My daughters mom dropped them off on my weekend with a big surprise,“oh by the way they have lice” I piled them into my car, drove to target, had them stay in the car, bought 4 boxes of Nix, drove back home had them get into their swimsuits due to them being 5 & 6 at the time. 4 hours later, both girls were lice free, 8 hours later all clothing & bedding were washed & dried. 

They were excited about dancing in the shower rain, they told their mom, & dear old mom called CPS & insinuated that I was doing improper things body wise with my daughters. I was met at the door by the police, & CPS informing me of the charges that had been registered against me in a formal complaint. Thank God my landlord was home at the time, he backed up my side that my daughters were wearing swim suits due to their ages. I was handed a sheet with my court date & the time for court. Even though I had documented proof, plus a signed affidavit stating the facts for my side, the judge informed me that for the time being I had to write a weekly diary with receipts every 4 hours detailing my daily activities because of the complaint my ex had filed with CPS.

it took the courts 5 years to realize that my ex had used & abused the court system to her benefit, again was issued a court summons, went to court with my pro Bono attorney at the time, he spoke for me, because he didnt want me to screw things up because I was angry still after 5 years. The judge gave his final disposition on the initial complaint filed. She reamed my ex for using the courts to her advantage, to limit my seeing my daughters. She asked her if she knew that the daughters had swim suits on at the time 5 years ago, she admitted that she had known, what she didn’t know was the judge had talked with both daughters, they told her they had worn swim suits while I washed their hair with NIX. 

The judge informed her that if she ever used the courts in the fashion she had used the courts, she would be spending 3 years in the county workhouse, & I would be given sole custody. 

in the texts I told my daughter that I was tired of fighting like I had for the 7 years to stay in their lives, her response that she wasn‘t going to deal with shame guilt, I told her that telling the facts that I’m tired of fighting, that i was logging off, & deleting the app, that I would only be in contact with her 2 more times after that, she would never hear from me again.

Both my daughters are blocked in every means possible, I’m not going to try or fight to be in their lives anymore. Yes i will miss them dearly but its better to be balanced mentally than to deal with their emotional upheaval on a weekly basis. I am proud of what both my daughters have achieved in life even after being a dealt a raw hand by their mother & her actions she took in her effort to keep my from their lives. 

My oldest became the youngest administrator for 2 hospitals, & 4 nursing home food & dietary, she achieved that accomplishment at the age of 28. My youngest with everything going on in her life achieved sales director of F3 wireless by the time she was 28. I wish to be in their lives but they have made it a abundantly clear that I’m not wanted, by them accusing me of doing shit that morally I could never do, after seeing what my younger sister went thru with an physically abusive drug user ex boyfriend that tied her up and abused her in every imaginable way possible for 72 hours…

sorry about the long winded rant, but this is my means of staying emotionally & mentally balanced…